If you are like most business owners, you got into business because you were good at something - you had a profession, skill, technical ability, a product, a network of good suppliers, etc. Yet, like most business owners, you continuously need more clients, customers or patients to sustain your cash flow - but don't enjoy the process of going out and finding them.
Let's face it, at some stage, every business owner has felt apprehensive about making cold calls, networking with other businesses, dealing with a 'no', or giving a presentation.
By letting these fears and insecurities determine what action and activity you will take, you are putting your business success at risk.
Procrastination, overwhelm, and anxiety (in the business context) is
just an insecurity that you are 'not good enough'.
If not dealt with and overcome, this insecurity will stop you from driving your business, making good business connections, expanding your network and growing your business.
Feeling apprehensive to call a new client, becoming anxious about giving a presentation to a group of prospects, or becoming shy when networking with new people is ridiculous!
You are not a child anymore.
You are not a teenager at your first social event. You are not at a new school trying to fit in and hope and do anything to get people to like you. No, you are an adult running a business and you need to get past your insecurities in order to do so.
Why is that so important?
Your body responds to whatever your mind believes to be true. If you believe that you are 'not good enough' to sell your services, or that what you have to offer is not really a great product or service - then your body becomes drained every time you have to speak - or even think - about it.
You will be stressing yourself out, and coming home from work each
day feeling drained and emotionally exhausted if you don't believe
in your abilities, capabilities or potential.
There is much evidence to illustrate the connection between belief and physiological effects (Pert 1997, Peters 2002). Numerous studies have shown that giving an inert substance in a drug trial often has the same effect as giving the drug itself. The placebo effect is still an effect. It seems that placebos can assist in the cure of disease just as well, 'as long as the patient believes they might be getting the real drug or treatment' (Hamer 2004). [1]
Just yesterday I was having lunch with a lady who runs a business. She has serious talent with helping people add value to their homes, though renovation and cosmetic alterations to their kitchen, bathroom, etc. Like any business owner, we were talking about finding new clients. I mentioned to her that I have been asked to speak at a meeting for a group of investors on how to set and stay focused on your goals and felt that her knowledge and experience on how to add value to property would be of great value to them, and that she should call them up and offer to give a talk. I said that there would be a room of people with property portfolios who would love to hear what you have to say and may even want to do business with you.
Her first response was great - there was a big smile and I could see her enjoying the thought of giving great ideas to these people and possible even getting more work. However in just 5 seconds her body language changed and she stopped smiling.
As a Shiatsu practitioner, I am trained to be able to read a person's body structure and understand, generally, what they are feeling. It was clear that she was feeling fear and self-doubt.
"Oh, maybe that's a good idea, I might just see how it goes"
I knew this resistance was simply her insecurities saying "I am not good enough to speak to a group of people".
Unfortunately for her (or maybe fortunately - depending on your point of view) she was sitting with a resilience coach who wasn't going to fall for that one and let that cop-out & slide by. To which I said "What are you talking about?? This could be a great opportunity for you. What are you afraid of here?" (I don't mind being somewhat direct).
"I have never spoken to a group and I don't know if I can do it"
This lady is a wonderful person, really knows her stuff, has spoken to, and helped, hundreds of individual people to renovate their homes properly, but just didn't believe she was good enough to speak to a group on a topic she lived and breathed.
Fear will not only stunt your business growth, but also your personal growth.
It stops you from becoming all that you can be and really reaching
your potential in business, work and life.
Becoming resilient to pressure is not a luxury you do because it feels good - it is a set of essential business skills that may be the defining difference between whether you, and your business, bounce back and thrive, or accept mediocrity and just survive, when dealing with the pressures of finding more clients, customers or patients.
So how do you become resilient to your own fears and insecurities?
Action steps:
1. Own the fear.
Be an adult and look at yourself for who you are. Own up to your demons. You can't change what you don't own. Sit yourself down and write out your insecurities. Construct your list without blaming your partner, parents, society or anyone else - just write the list. Only when you have a starting point can you move beyond it.
2. Confirm your value
The symptoms the social anxious feel are usually as bad or worse before the event, and you end up focusing only on how we will react and how we will be judged
[2] - instead of focusing on all the positive attributes and potential you have.
On a separate piece of paper, write down the value you have. What knowledge have you accumulated? What skills do you have? What positive qualities do you possess? Sometimes it is difficult to recognize your attributes, so ask a colleague, friend, partner or someone who knows you to help you make the list. This is not a time to be modest or shy - be proud of who you are and what you have achieved in your life. Fear can make you blind to the value you have. Keep sight of your value.
3. Ignore the non-believers
One of my favorite quotes is "What people think of you is none of your business".
There will always be some who doesn't like what you say, doesn't think you are any good, and doesn't like the way you look...so what?! Live and let live. Know who you are, where you are going, and what you want in life - and let those who know see you path keep traveling along their own.
Final Thoughts:
One of my mentors, Matt Church, the founder of
www.australianthoughtleaders.comonce said to me
"you have been doing this work for a long time. You owe it to yourself to accelerate your results and get beyond your current level of operation".
Don't let fear keep you stuck at one level of operation or success in your business - own the fear, confirm your value, and ignore the non-believers.
