In your business/work...
Do you always give the impression that 'everything is fine' - even if it's not?
Do you want people to think that you can handle everything without working up a sweat?
Do you appear as if nothing is too much trouble, too difficult, or beyond your abilities?
Are you living a lie?
To secure your job, keep work flowing in, or maintain your clients, you might think that you have to give the
impression that you are able to handle extra clients, deal with more paperwork, work through lunch, and take on extra responsibilities without showing any strain or tension. Right?
WRONG!!
Many people have the 'busy duck' syndrome - on the surface everything appears calm and looks fine, but underneath they are frantic, uptight, exhausted and stressed-out...but never show it.
The pressure of not being real is draining. Feeling one way, but putting on a front to appear
another way is emotionally exhausting - and a waste of valuable time and energy!
One of the key reasons that people don't bounce back from pressure and find themselves getting uptight and stressed out is because they pretend it doesn't bother them. So, instead of being real and working on their weaknesses and faults, they cover them up with fake optimism and act as if they are someone else.
Justin Herald (from
http://www.justinherald.com ) is a man who knows the value of being real. In 1995, all
Justin had to start his business was $50 and an attitude. With clever marketing campaigns and a strong desire to make something of his life, Justin set out to turn his $50 into a multi-million dollar empire in just
6 years. In Justin's e-newsletter
'Motivate Me', he recently commented on the difference between being
a 'Contender or pretender'. He writes....
"With the pressure on people today to reach success it is no wonder that some people think that there may be ways to "appear" to be a success instead of actually do the hard work to get there. So why is it that some people see the need to fake it before they make it? Why is success so important that they need to emulate it rather than live it? I personally believe that the perceived notion of what success will be to these people will not be the reality when they get there. They will be sadly disappointed as they have a warped idea of what success will actually feel like if and when they reach it.
...Make sure you are a contender in your life. Try your best, play hard and handle what comes your way. If you think that faking your way through life will get you by, you are sadly mistaken and wasting valuable time."
Your work performance, morale and self esteem will suffer if you continue to
say what you don't mean, be who you aren't and do what you don't believe in
In 1998 I was running the Shiatsu Health Centre of Melbourne. It was a busy practice and I treated over
4000 people. However, working that hard takes its toll and sometimes I found myself really tired and
burnt-out. One day I simply decided to close my practice for two days and let all my clients know that I was run down and needed some time to rejuvenate.
At first I thought it was rather ironic - here is the health care practitioner (who tells everyone to watch their limits and take time out for themselves) becoming burnt out. I thought that people would lose confidence in me. Instead, the opposite occurred. My clients gained an extra respect for me because I followed my own advice and didn't pretend to be unbreakable.
Give up the show and be real!
People today can tell who is real and who is full of hot air. The image of 'show no pain' and 'always be great' is an outdated business culture. Today, in a world of email, SMS, websites and ipods, people are starving for real human contact. People don't want any more 'hype' - we are saturated with hype.
In one of the final scenes in the cult movie of the 60's, 'The Rocky Horror Show', Brad, Janet and Rocky,
whose reality has been 'expanded' are told 'don't dream it - be it'. To be who they really are on the inside, instead of being how they want people to see them. Dare to be you.
ACTION STEPS
1. Stop the lies - start telling the truth
When you don't need to make up excuses or make up a story and just come out and say the truth - it
feels like a huge relief.
Get into the habit of just talking the truth. Tell your clients, colleagues, partner, etc. the truth instead of what they want to hear.
2. Stop acting and start being
Stop trying to prove to your clients, colleagues, managers, customers, or partners that you are good,
capable and competent. Just do it instead.
Ghandi once said 'you need to become the change you wish to see'. In the same sense, work on becoming the success you hope others to see in you - and then you won't have to try to appear 'successful'...it will just be who you are.
For many years I have carried the belief that 'what people think of you is none of your business'
3. Stop trying - start doing
Just be you.
A flower doesn't 'try' to open - it just blooms.
Stop trying to be someone or something else.
Just be you. As the song says... 'Give yourself permission to shine'.
Stop trying - start doing.
